Oh. That's All I Have to Say

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I found out that a classmate of mine interned at some prestigious law firm and it honestly made me feel like crap. It's not like I don't know that my classmates are just really, really eager to amaze the college admissions officers, because I do. I know people with 600+ volunteer hours and people who've interned with the Congressman. I do know these things, yet why is it making me feel like crap?

In all honesty, it's probably because I had liked him for a little while. It was a fleeting thing, a sentiment that came and went. I think he knew, which is why he avoided me and every time I talked to him he would act so, so awkward. It's all over now, but it was the shock of finding out that made me remember why in the first place, that I had even clicked on his profile.

It made me feel so parochial, the me that didn't do amazing things. Yes, I have a blog, but how much does that matter? It's not like I have some amazing cult following. Yes, publishers send me books to review, but it's not like I'm being asked to. I'm the one that has to write to the publishers requesting book so and so and cross my fingers that they'll actually send me a ARC. I'm not even that sure that they'll want to after this blog has been converted into some self-expression place instead of a book review blog.

Dear boy that I liked for a while but got over since you were being so awkward and sorry if I'm insulting you, if you're reading this, well. Hi. Congrats on interning at that super posh place that has locations in three different continents. In case you didn't know or couldn't read the last sentence, three. How amazing is that? But of course, you probably knew because that's why you would even publicly list that. Of course.

Oh. That's all I have to say because chances are, you will never read this and that I'm writing this for my own benefit I suppose.

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